Editor’s note: “The Spoken Word” is shared by Derrick Porter each Sunday during the weekly Tabernacle Choir at Temple Square broadcast. This will be given Sunday, Aug. 25, 2024. This was previously given by Lloyd Newell on Aug. 23, 2015.
We each have a backstory — the experiences, events and choices that helped shape us into the people we’ve become. One of the best ways to understand a person, even someone we might disagree with, is to learn his or her story. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow put it this way: “If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility” (see “Prose Works of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow: Complete in Two Volumes,” published in 1873). Though most of us don’t see each other as enemies, the sentiment is clear. It’s much harder to dislike a person whose story you understand.
For example, one man seemed to have a hard time connecting with other people. He wasn’t very easy to talk with; he had such strong opinions about almost everything. Many people found him off-putting or tiresome. But a neighbor made the effort to become his friend. He listened rather than judged; he understood instead of dismissed. The kind neighbor explained, “I learned a long time ago that everyone has a story to tell, and the more I get to know a person, the more I like him.”
This same experience has been played out countless times in countless places. Perhaps you’ve lived it. It begins when you open your heart enough to say to someone, in so many words, “Tell me your story,” and then you truly seek to listen. You will hear some stories that will surprise you and others that will inspire and humble you.
As we listen with empathy and compassion, we come to see others much as we should see ourselves — some strengths and weaknesses, some successes and setbacks, some shining moments when we were truly our best selves, and some mistakes and regrets. Insignificant differences between us begin to wash away, leaving the common experiences, hopes and desires that unite our human family. Of course, some meaningful differences will most likely remain, but it will hardly seem worth ruining a potential friendship over them. In fact, the privilege of coming to understand someone better — and maybe even finding a new friend in the process — will become an important new chapter in our own backstory, helping each of us become kinder, more compassionate people.
Tuning in …
The “Music & the Spoken Word” broadcast is available on KSL-TV, KSL News Radio 1160AM/102.7FM, KSL.com, BYUtv, BYUradio, Dish and DirecTV, SiriusXM (Ch. 143), tabernaclechoir.org, youtube.com/TheTabernacleChoir and Amazon Alexa (must enable skill). The program is aired live on Sundays at 9:30 a.m. Mountain Time on these outlets. Look up broadcast information by state and city at musicandthespokenword.com/viewers-listeners/airing-schedules.
